concept: all normal checkouts are replaced with self-checkouts but instead of losing their jobs the cashiers now get to sit on top of lifeguard chairs and periodically throw wine glasses at me like dracula while i buy my goods
what is a customer? a miserable little pile of coupons
Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
Gomez in particular would enjoy your boldness, Cousin Intruder.
Oh shit.
The Addams family loves and greets every person entering one of their homes.
The Addams family adopted or married every person wishing to stay.
This is why the Addams family is full of freaks.
Of course.
So what we’re saying is, tracing the Addams’ geneology is damn near impossible and it’s just as likely that no living member of the family is actually a blood relative of the people who originally held the family name?
What I’m hearing is that Batman is actually an Addams.
He most certainly is
I mean, considering if you look at it in the light of a different story, the near (actual, factual) homicidal level of bond and love the Addams have for each other, the idea that they’re all adopted, the way that Bruce is often portrayed as a bit of an aloof, smarmy smarm in private, the possibility that young Bruce might not be wholly appreciative of his extended family’s eccentricities, of which his parents are the mildest of the bunch, the idea that those two parents are (distantly) Addams’ and get gunned down, well.
[Gomez]: I came, I came as soon as I heard
[Bruce]: I…I told you never to come back, I said, I said you were weird
[Gomez]: Please, my boy, to compliment me when you are so wracked with grief. *clutching hug* Dear Thomas, dear Martha, so full of life…
[Bruce]: *extricating* They….they fell in front of me…while he laughed…with mother’s pearls…
[Gomez]: The fiend! This dishonor cannot stand!
[Bruce]: And I felt….I felt it well up inside me, a black blood welling up…
[Gomez]: Yes, dear boy…
[Bruce]: I….will be vengeance….
[Gomez]: Yes….
[Bruce]: I…I will be the night!
[Gomez]: Yes!
[Bruce]: I….I am an Addams!
[Gomez]: YES!
[Bruce]: I. AM. BATMAN. *lightning, thunder*
[Gomez]: YES, YES!!! My boy, the rivers will run red with wonderful blood!
[Alfred]: *sigh* I’ll put the tea on and grab the foils then, shall I, sirs?
This is like a study in how many expressions three characters can cram into a frame. The last gif is the story an entire life lived in a moment. This gifset describes a heroic journey. Jonathan is briefly wildly excited by the statue’s feet before resigning himself to his fate. Ardeth’s instant transition from drama to annoyance when Rick lights a match on his beard is highly relatable. why did Rick stop the action just to strike a match on a friend’s rugged jaw. how fantastic are Ardeth’s robes. what are their faces doing in the last gif. is anyone in this film capable of doing anything at a normal level with any modicum of focus, or do they all stumble dramatically out of bed in the morning and pick a fight with the floor. Give me more disasters, that’s what I want. more relatable, distractible disasters. not a single one of them can focus on deadly dangers for more than a moment without being distracted by feet, jawlines, banter, books, swishing their clothes and grabbing each other. none of them can hold a torch properly.
missionlameturtle 