listen I love a good dumb fanfic trope as much as the next person, but I swear to god sometimes it’s like nobody on the internet has ever shared a bed with somebody they didn’t want to bang
I have very often shared beds with friends. It’s either very pleasant and loving… or overheated, good god they snores like a freight train is there a way to tip them onto their side or should I just smother them to death with this pillow.
That last one also applies to s.os btw
Ähem, dear Turtle, if a man offered me (woman, available for men) to share his bed, i´d think i missed him anouncing being gay (or ace). like if that person wants something they´d try before bedtime to see if it´s mutual? tricking someone into sleeping in the same bed as a mater of seduction (or worse assault)bec you want them and don´t know if its mutual is shady as hell. but hey maybe (likely) men are so different from me that i lack understanding. 😀
Turtle’s talking about the rather popular fanfic trope in which the two main characters who are secretly in love with each other but convinced that their love is Doomed to be Ubrequited (both characters feel this way) are forced to Because Reasons – read as, only one bed in the hotel room, stranded together in the wilderness, or some other contrived situation – share a bed. There’s never scheming involved nor is the bed sharing planned by one of the characters, it just happens. It is shown to be an extremely erotic situation, even transcendental, the best night of sleep the character has ever experienced with semi-erotic cuddling and warmth and morning erections that must be hidden. These are usually written as angsty and a source of much woe as the characters are convinced that This Is As Close As I’m Ever Gonna Get.
As an aside, I once had a sleepover with a female friend who did try to ‘seduce me by sharing a bed’. A lot of ‘sleepy’ cuddling etc. I literally sat up, flicked on the lights and was like, look is this about sex? Cause we can have sex if you want, but not when you’re pretending to be asleep, that’s kinda weird. Which is to say, fiction is one thing, but in real life there’s no smooth way to transition between co-sleeping and sex without some sort of awkward conversation.
@someplanetelse no, I agree–that’s basically my point? Not that oh-no-we-have-to-share-a-bed-whoops-this-is-so-sensual is a scenario that’s totally outside the realm of possibility given the right circumstances, as @inconclusionray pointed out, but…given my own personal experiences, its prevalence (to the point of assumption) in fanfic seems more than a little absurd. It’s not as though I’ve exactly been keeping count, but at a rough estimate I’ve probably shared a bed or other close quarters sleeping arrangements (such as a small or crowded tent) with maybe close to 200 people over the course of my lifetime. The experiences have ranged from “staying up all night giggling about silly Harry Potter headcanons” to “goddammit, if you don’t turn that iPod down I will *literally* kick you out of this bed”, but I can’t say that any of them have been all that sexual, romantic, or life-altering. (I did sleep very well when sharing a bed with a particular girl on my speech & debate team, but that had a lot more to do with the tea she shared with me than the actual experience of sleeping together.) I’m not opposed to it as a trope in fanfic, exactly, but I do find it, uh, a little bizarre.
also, you can call me Mission or Mish if you’d like–Mr Turtle is my father!
“Authors can’t use it in fantasy fiction, eh? We’ll see about that…”
–Terry Pratchett, probably
Try to implement anything but a conservative’s sixth grade education level of medieval or Victorian times and you will butt into this. all. the. time.
There was a literaly fad in the 1890′s for nipple rings for all genders(and NO, it was NOT under the mistaken belief that it would help breastfeeding–there’s LOTS of doctors’ writing at the time telling people to STOP and that they thought it would ruin the breast’s ability to breastfeed well, etc). It was straight up because the Victorians were freaks, okay Imagine trying to make a Victorian character with nipple rings. IMAGINE THE ACCUSATIONS OF GROSS HISTORICAL INACCURACY
people just really, REALLY have entrenched ideas of what people in the past were like
tell them the vikings were clean, had a complex democratic legal system, respected women, had freeform rap battles, and had child support payments? theyd call you a liar
tell them that chopsticks became popular in china during the bronze age because street food vendors were all the rage and they wanted to have disposable eating utensils? theyll say youre making that up
tell them native americans had a trade network stretching from canada to peru and built sacred mounds bigger then the pyramids of giza? you are some SJW twisting facts
ancient egypt had circular saws, debt cards, and eye surgery? are you high?
our misconception of medieval peasants being illiterate and living in poverty in one room mud huts being their own creation as part of a century long tax aversion scam? you stole that from the game of thrones reject bin
iron age india had stone telescopes, air conditioning, and the number 0 along with all ‘arabic’ numbers including algebra and calculus? i understand some of those words.
romans had accurate maps detailing vacation travel times along with a star rating for hotels along the way, fast food restaurants, swiss army knives, black soldiers in brittany, traded with china, and that soldiers wrote thank-you notes when their parents sent them underwear in the mail? but they thought the earth was flat!
ancient bronze age mesopotamia had pedantic complaints sent to merchants about crappy goods, comedic performances, and transgender/nobinary representation? what are you smoking?
Truth is stranger than fiction, and history is weirder than you think.
this post gets better every time it comes across my dash. To provide some more: those Romans also had vending machines, automated puppet plays, doors that opened to the sound of horns when you lit a fire in front of them, and working steam engines. All invented by one dude, Hero of Alexandria.
The sunglasses and condoms in Black Sails are not anachronisms.
Someone once told me, with a straight face, the financial bubbles quote “Just didn’t happen before the 1930s,” and I nearly had a stroke.
There was a financial bubble in the 1720s of a scale that dwarfed the great depression and involved the British government’s massive debt, caused them to back out of the War of Spanish Succession, has propaganda from Jonathan Swift AND Daniel Defoe, and is caused the British government so much debt they are still paying it off today (they made a payment on the principal in 2016).
Oh oh, the tulip bubble! Thought to be the earliest version of something like the dotcom bubble, people in Holland were so enamored of tulips they were buying contracts for bulbs in advance, which turned into speculation, which turned into a massive tulip bubble that eventually burst. Really interesting stuff, and indications that we … kind of don’t change over time.
Do time ladies get periods?!? I can’t recall having seen a pregnant time lady? Where do they come from?
This depends a lot on who you want to believe about Time Lord reproduction.
According to some sources, Time Lords are sterile as a species, and reproduce via a process called looming, whereby the genetic material from any two (??) individuals can be woven into a new person. Under that approach, Time Ladies would not experience periods or pregnancy.
There is one on-screen reference to the Doctor having been born, but it’s a throwaway line in a joke episode spoken by the least reliable character in the series (the Doctor), so make of that what you will.
There are other approaches that hold that Time Lords are not mammals at all, strictly speaking. Under such an approach, they clearly wouldn’t menstruate.
On the other hand, there’s reason to believe that Time Lords may be interfertile with humans, which would be implausible if they were reptiles or such. The Doctor at one point claims to be half human; his granddaughter marries a human and has children with him in the EU; the handful of times there is a question of the Doctor being the parent of dome human person it’s taken seriously as a possibility, and so on.
One line of speculation holds that Time Lords get all their reproduction done in their first incarnation, and thereafter turn their interest away from issues of sex and romance to concentrate more fully on the more dignified pursuits of bureaucracy, genocide and silly hats. One of the things this line of speculation is intended to account for is the comparative rarity of Time Ladies. Why choose a body configuration that’s going to bleed periodically if all you’re going to use it for is carting your consciousness around and holding up a silly hat? You could also take this as implying that adult Time Lords are sexless and their gender presentation is a matter of aesthetic rather than functionality.
Since 2005, every on-screen glimpse we have gotten of Time Lord social structures (the Master talking about his father’s estates, the discussions of the President’s wife and/or daughter) has made them entirely parallel to (modern western) human social structures, for what that’s worth. How or whether you want to resolve the apparent contradictions is a matter of personal taste.
The other thing is, IF Time Lords menstruate and bear live young, we would never know about it. They get squicked by the notion of Eating Food – anything as biological as a fertility cycle would be far too undignified to ever admit to. Even if they produce children in the usual way, it is well within the realm of possibility that Rassilon would have devised some more socially acceptable, at-will method, rather than being at the whim of natural forces.
…but, of course, we’ve seen the Doctor enjoying such base animal activities as eating food, drinking wine, sleeping, fisticuffs, snogging, and touching plants. The Doctor even regenerates without scheduling the event (and outcome) years in advance! Scandalous! She can therefore not be taken as representative of proper Time Lord decorum, and anything at all is possible.
…really, the only way to know is if Chibnall makes a joke about it. And even then, such things can be safely ignored if you want to.
tl;dr: probably not unless you really want them to
Addendum: humans menstruate but other mammals don’t due to our aggressive hemochoric placenta. It’s not ridiculous to claim that what makes us unique on Earth would be unlikely to find in an alien.
Now this is what the fuck I’m talking bout. Nike out here moving in silence, paying Kaep all along, and waiting for the pivotal moment to make it known—right before week 1 of the NFL.
SN: Now I feel like re-reading one of my fav books of all-time: Phil Knight’s memoir/business book, Shoe Dog.
Y’all the NFL is in a contract with Nike until 2028. They HAVE to use them. If this isn’t the best political and business move I don’t know what is. The devil moves fast, Kris Jenner moves faster but NIKE moves fastest of all!
no one wants to admit they shop at hot topic but we all do
I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
missionlameturtle 