yo @ ds anon why don’t you come bug somebody else for a while

I get that “live and let live” isn’t really your schtick, but come on. Please. We’re all human beings, here, and it’d be nice if every once in a while you could recognize when somebody’s struggling. I know our interactions with you aren’t friendly, but they could be! I know you might be struggling too, but just as our frustration with you is no excuse for the way we sometimes interact with you, any struggles you’re experiencing aren’t an excuse for the way you behave either.

For the meantime, if you need to harass somebody that badly, my inbox is open.

ademska:

reliand:

sergeantjerkbarnes:

simplydalektable:

hannahrhen:

Ha! Love it!

One of my fave authors from ages ago used the phrase “a little helplessly” (like “he reached his arms out, a little helplessly”) in EVERY fic she wrote. She never pointed it out—there just came a point where I noticed it like an Easter egg. So I literally *just* wrote it into my in-progress fic this weekend as an homage only I would notice. ❤

To me it’s still the quintessential “two dudes doing each other” phrase.

I think different fic communities develop different phrases too! You can (usually) date a mid 00s lj fic (or someone who came of age in that style) by the way questions are posed and answered in the narration, e.g. “And Patrick? Is not okay with this.” and by the way sex scenes are peppered with “and, yeah.” I remember one Frerard fic that did this so much that it became grating, but overall I loved the lj style because it sounded so much like how real people talk.

Another classic phrase: wondering how far down the _ goes. I’ve seen it mostly with freckles, but also with scars, tattoos, and on one memorable occasion, body glitter at a club. Often paired with the realization during sexy times that “yeah, the __ went all they way down.” I’ve seen this SO much in fic and never anywhere else

so i just googled the phrase “toeing out of his shoes” to make sure it was an actual thing

and the results were:

it’s all fanfiction

which reminds me that i’ve only ever seen the phrase “carding fingers through his hair” and people describing things like “he’s tall, all lean muscle and long fingers,” like that formula of “they’re ____, all ___ and ____” or whatever in fic

idk i just find it interesting that there are certain phrases that just sort of evolve in fandom and become prevalent in fic bc everyone reads each other’s works and then writes their own and certain phrases stick

i wish i knew more about linguistics so i could actually talk about it in an intelligent manner, but yeah i thought that was kinda cool

I love this. Though I don’t think of myself as fantastic writer, by any means, I know the way I write was shaped more by fanfiction and than actual novels. 

I think so much of it has to do with how fanfiction is written in a way that feels real. conversations carry in a way that doesn’t feel forced and is like actual interactions. Thoughts stop in the middle of sentences.

The coherency isn’t lost, it just marries itself to the reader in a different way. A way that shapes that reader/writer and I find that so beautiful. 

FASCINATING

and it poses an intellectual question of whether the value we assign to fanfic conversational prose would translate at all to someone who reads predominantly contemporary literature. as writers who grew up on the internet find their way into publishing houses, what does this mean for the future of contemporary literature? how much bleed over will there be?

we’ve already seen this phenomenon begin with hot garbage like 50 shades, and the mainstream public took to its shitty overuse of conversational prose like it was a refreshing drink of water. what will this mean for more wide-reaching fiction?

QUESTIONS!

I feel like an NPC character when…

celestialwaltz:

copperbadge:

walkingwhlockian:

I’m on register at work:
~waits patiently behind counter with absent smile until a customer walks close enough and/or shows necessary amount of interest
~has a set script of prompts in my head to follow during transactions
~cheerful yet non-descript customer service voice and can repeat same exact tone infinitely.
~breaking from prompts or skipping through parts may cause minor glitches, such as accidentally repeating the same prompt again or completely skipping necessary ones
~absentmindedly tends to my area using the same five or so actions in a continuous loop until new person arrives
~Abnormally knowledgeable in my craft
~wears same outfit every day
~Nothing unusual phases me
~walking away and coming back is like a brand new interaction. I have little to no memory of you

This explains more than I’m comfortable with about my time as a receptionist.

 This explains a lot about my years in retail…

m-to-the-6th-power:

runofthemillsocialist:

sapphicscaly:

autisticsamusaran:

sapphicscaly:

fallout4kin:

lizardexposer:

unstabledragon:

lizardexposer:

thirtythreethirtyfive:

lizardexposer:

runofthemillsocialist:

bibliotheksbewohnerin:

things that still freak me out: those sinks americans have in their kitchens that you can destroy stuff with

Honestly this post has been on my mind all day. Those weird destructosinks for people with too much money are apparently common in America. And Americans get defensive over them.

Well don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink.

hOLY SHIT WHAT IF U TRY AND CLEAN THE PLUG AND TURN IT ON IM SO SCARED

Okay it took me for-fucking-ever to figure out wtf you guys are talking about are you talking about garbage disposals?
Like down the drain??

with the spinny knives

No knives, just a dull piece of spinny metal.

you realise it takes the same amount of force to cut thru a carrot as a finger

i dont know what you do over there but we usually don’t stick our hands in our sink drains

who’s going around fisting sinks anyway

“don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink”

is that person saying they fuck kitchen sinks? is that what I just read? they put their dick in the sink’s drain and they fuck it?

dont sinkshame

Child. Wean means child.

Okay, so you put your CHILD in a sink and stuff them down the drain? That’s… that’s definitely worse.